Saturday, 8 October 2011

Compete for the meat

Don't be mistaken- I love Dave. It's great. Since E4's decided that it's going to scrap friends at 8 pm, and instead put on something so shit that it makes you look forward to 'My Name is Earl' (which doesn't just fuck up your 8pm viewing slot but also takes a giant dump all over E4+1 at 9), Dave's 'Mock the Week' re runs are like wadis in the desert of late evening programming. But they've made a fatal mistake: 'Made by Dave'. Like a giant supermarket, Dave's become so over confident at selling stuff that other people have produced that it's decided it can make stuff too. But it can't. It really fucking can't. Like Morrison's own brand ice cream. It may look like ice cream, but it's actually shit in a tub.
Take 'Compete for the meat'. If there's ever a programme which has been designed around a catchy sounding name, this is it. Some smug wanker at Dave in an 'ironic' t-shirt and jeans has actually given whoever came up with the concept money to make it a show. The fact that no one at Dave thought -We've made a TV show where contestants are competing for mince, this is bullshit' is a pretty damning inditement of the channel.
To add insult to injury, the show is presented by the turd in a suit who is Al Murray. I fucking hate Al Murray. I hate his fat face, I hate his description of himself as a Pub Landlord, I hate the way he carries a pint of beer around in a desperate attempt to make the freeflow of crap from his mouth sound like jokes. He's a prick.
So come on Dave. You're not bad, so scrap 'Compete for the Meat'. To fill the time in your programming, you could film Al Murray attempting to run an actual pub. I'd watch just to see him get stabbed.